Parental alienation is a painful and complex battle, one that can leave deep wounds for both parents and children. When emotions run high, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of resentment toward the other parent. But in that process, we often forget one crucial truth—our children are made up of both of us. Hating the other parent is, in a way, hating a part of our own child.

The Reflection of Two

No matter how much we may struggle with the actions of the other parent, our children carry pieces of them—whether it’s in their eyes, their laugh, or even their quirks. When we speak negatively about that person, our child absorbs it. They start to question if that part of them is also unworthy, unlovable, or broken.

Children shouldn’t have to choose sides in adult conflicts. They should be free to love both parents without guilt or pressure. When we allow our pain to spill onto them, we risk creating emotional wounds that last far beyond the battle we’re fighting.

Breaking the Cycle

It takes strength to break the cycle of resentment. But healing begins when we recognize that our child’s identity is separate from the conflicts of the past. We don’t have to love or forgive the other parent for their mistakes, but we do have to love our child enough to rise above them.

That means:

• Speaking with kindness about the other parent in front of your child.
• Encouraging their relationship without making them feel guilty for it.
• Healing yourself so that your pain doesn’t become their burden.

Loving Fully, Not Partially

We all want our children to feel whole, loved, and accepted. That starts with allowing them to embrace every part of who they are—including the parts that may remind us of someone who hurt us. Our children are not their parents’ mistakes. They are their own person, deserving of unconditional love, free from the weight of adult struggles.

Let’s choose love over hate. Not for the other parent, but for the child who deserves to feel complete.

A Mother Puts Her Child First—Always

I’ve seen firsthand what it means to weaponize a child in a battle between parents. I’ve lived through the heartbreak of parental alienation, and I know how damaging it is—not just for the parent being erased, but for the child caught in the middle.

A mother is not someone who uses her child as a tool for revenge. A mother doesn’t fabricate abuse just to eliminate the other parent from their child’s life. A mother doesn’t withhold contact, ignore court orders, or move a child away without even giving the father a chance to know where they are.

A mother does not lie to her child, twist reality, or fill their head with hate just to get what she wants. That’s not motherhood—that’s control, manipulation, and selfishness disguised as protection.

Being a mother means putting your child first, even when it’s hard. It means setting aside your anger and hurt to make sure your child has the love and support they deserve from both parents. It means recognizing that children are not pawns in a game—they are human beings who need security, love, and stability.

If you want to be called a mother, act like one. Not out of convenience. Not out of spite. But because your child deserves better than to be caught in the crossfire of adult pain.

I write this not out of bitterness, but out of hope—hope that one day, more people will see that parental alienation is real, that it destroys families, and that it’s time to put an end to it. No child should ever have to suffer because one parent refuses to let go of their need for control.

Because at the end of the day, the only person truly hurt by that kind of selfishness is the child.